35

What a number. I am at the age of "risky" pregnancies. I can't join the National guard. I'm too old for some law enforcement agencies. Half-way to 70. Almost 40. Yet, still making mistakes like I was 20. I've been acting older than my age for awhile, but I don't seem to make the wisest of choices that an almost 40 year old should be making.

Feeling hopeful that maybe I will start to wise up.

Feeling sad that my youth is behind me.

Wondering where the get up and go attitude that I had in my 20's has left. Why and when did it go is a mystery. Will it come back? I keep willing it. No action, though. Hmmm.

Still wanting a second child. Barely able to take care of the first child. Or myself.

My story seems stuck. Was it Sunnyvale? Or did it happen before that?

I know I should and need to move on. Why can't I? Why do I just continue to sit?

What a birthday, post, huh?